Why I’m a Horrible Author

As I’m sure none of you know, I am an author on AsianFanFics and I wrote a short series of one shots with the fans choice of celebrities. (Let’s face it, I didn’t actually have any fans so I asked my Facebook friends to give me a bunch of idol requests to make up for the lack of readers.) And when I could no longer handle my corny writing anymore about these boys, I wrote the worst ending I could think of… from a crazy fan girls point of view. I don’t mean a sasaeng, but like, you’re kind of crazy if you read my one shots about how you acted and how the boy of your dreams acted too. 😛 Okay, not really crazy, you’re just in real deep.

Le link or if you don’t actually want to, I also inserted it down below 😀

As I walked down the street, arms linked with my friend, I see a large crowd. As I peer over the large group of girls, I recognize his hair. I’d recognize his hair anywhere, I mean, I even recognize his butt from all the butts in his contract company.

Smiling, I run over through the crowd over to him. As I push through the girls, my friend shouts my name. Caring less, I get through the girls and finally set myself by his side without getting too close. He doesn’t look happy, yet he doesn’t look sad… just, uncomfortable. Blinking the way he usually does, he looks up from the ground and seems to search for a certain store. Smiling, I know exactly where he’s headed, and I back away from the group to go through a shortcut to his favorite store.

Stopping at a food stall, I buy him some carp bread and run to the store. I look around the clothing store and wait for him to walk through the door, losing the fans like he usually does. It doesn’t take long before the door rings it’s particular sound and he walks through it as normally as possible. Smiling, I walk to him and greet him the way I usually do.

“It’s been a long time, I was wondering when I’d get to see you again,” I tell him with a smile on my lips.

Slightly flustered, he looks at me and gives me a nervous smile. Nodding his head, he gives me a slight wave and continues walking around the store. Completely taken by surprise, I follow him and tap him on the shoulder.

“Hey, I got you some carp bread, from the stall you like a lot,” I try again.

“Thank you,” he says and takes the bag out of my hand.

I watched in confusion as he walked away from me, as if he didn’t recognize me. Catching up beside him, I looked only at the products while trying to talk to him.

“Why are you acting like this?” I ask him.

He looked at me as if I was crazy and replied, “I have no idea what you mean.”

I turn to look at him and notice a couple of fans collecting at the window. As they bring out their technology to take pictures, I turn back the products before noticing that he had walked away. Turning over my left shoulder, I see him looking at other shirts. Running over to him, I stand next to him and follow him again.

“Is it because of the fans that you’re not talking to me?” I ask him again.

“I’m sorry, but I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says again.

“But-I’m your girlfriend,” I say cautiously.

He looks at me in surprise and tries to hide it. Smiling as if he was trying to be patient, he coughs.

“Are you a fan? If that’s the case then I’m dating all my fans,” he says.

Before I can say anything else, his manager comes behind me and requests for me to leave the building. I walk out of the store entrance, completely speechless. I stumble out of the building and start to walk aimlessly. I pass the stall that we ate ice cream at. I pass the store that we bought clothes at. I walked into the park that we laid next to each other in. Did we?

My head started to hurt so I pressed my hand against the area of pain to see if it’d subside. It didn’t. Tears start to well up as I get flashbacks. Eating, shopping, teasing each other, pictures, known of those ever happened.

That was it. None of it ever happened. I had imagined a whole relationship with an idol, a celebrity, someone who I would never be able to reach. I had imagined the impossible, and had let it effect my real life. I knew I shouldn’t let it happen, reminded myself that I shouldn’t, but it happened anyways. I turn around and walk back to the store, crying my eyes out. Because none of it ever happened, I think to myself over and over again. None of this was real, and that was the truth.

As I reach the store, a large group had formed around him again as he exited the building with his bags of stuff. I walk over and join the crowd. His manager whispers something into his ear and he smiles sweetly as if it was some sort of inside joke. Letting my tears fall, I gasp for air as he keeps walking.

Suddenly, he pauses and turns back around to look at me. I sniff a cluster of mucus up my nose. He starts walking towards me and stops right in front of me. I gasp for air loudly as he stood in front of me.

“Don’t cry, you don’t look as pretty as when you smile,” he said wiping a tear from my face.

“I enjoyed the pastry. There are two of them though, you can have the other one,” he says, handing me the bag with the other piece.

With a shaking hand, I reach out and hold the bag. Sighing, he turns back around and continues walking towards his van. The group continues to follow him with their cameras and a few girls push me. Crying, I fall to the concrete ground like my legs no longer desired to support my body against gravity. In a crumpled heap, I cried because… because it had never happened and none of it was real.


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